Preached at Kingston Road United Church by the Rev. Richard C. Choe
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Jesus was praying in a certain place, and after he had finished, one of his disciples said to him, ‘Lord, teach us to pray, as John taught his disciples.’ He said to them, ‘When you pray, say:Father, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come. Give us each day our daily bread. And forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us. And do not bring us to the time of trial.’
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Teach us to pray.
Once the Master was at prayer. The disciples came up to him and said, “Sir, teach us how to pray.” This is how the Master taught them.
Two men were once walking through a field when they saw an angry bull. Instantly they ran for the nearest fence with the bull in hot pursuit. It soon became clear to them that they were not going to make it, so one man shouted to the other, “We’re done for! Nothing can save us. Say a prayer. Quick!”
The other shouted back, “I’ve never prayed in my life and I don’t have a prayer for this occasion.”
“Never mind. The bull is catching up to us. Any prayer will do.”
“Well, I’ll say the one my father used to say before meals:
‘For what we are about to receive, Lord,
make us truly grateful.’”[i]
Well. It is not easy to be grateful for every situation we face in life. Most of us often find that it is difficult to accept and be grateful for the way things are in our life. As a result, we often pray for positive changes in our life situation. We have a tendency to pray for better things. We pray for our situations to be better than what we experience.
There are times when I can’t sleep at night. As I lay awake going through the list of the things I have to do or undo, I feel that my life seems to be way too cluttered and that I am always behind the TO DO list of life. At moments like that my prayer is more of a wish list than a communion with God.
Reinhold Neibuhr, an American theologian, wrote this well known prayer sometimes attributed to St. Francis of Assisi:
“God, give us grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, courage to change the things which should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other.”[ii]
How do we know what things cannot be changed and what things can be changed? How do we discern? What do we pray for? How do we pray? How do we pray when we feel that we are way too busy and, at times, our life seems to be beyond our control? When do we even find time to pray let alone take time to pause?
These were the kind of questions I hear from the question by one of Jesus’ disciples when he asked, “Lord, teach us to pray.”
There was a time in my life when I began each day by praying to God for strength to be able to survive the day. Even taking a shower in the morning took a great effort and courage. Every time I closed my eyes to shampoo my hair I had this fear that I was going to drown. It was as though my life was a continuous descent to the bottomless pit. I was going through a very difficult time in life. It was as though everything was falling apart. My marriage was in shambles. I was not quite sure whether I was finding much meaning in my ministry. Everything seemed so meaningless. Every task seemed so futile.
Although I worked with people all the time, I felt desperately lonely and alone. One of my most fearful experiences was to be alone and not know what to do with myself. I was so afraid to be alone – be by myself – that I would fill my schedule with appointments and meetings.
As I was searching for a way out of this descent into depression, I began to realize that perhaps the only way out of this deep funk (pit) I was experiencing was to start to learn to listen to myself once again. Learning to listen to myself – learning to look into the depths of my being and acknowledging where I was and who I was – became a starting point of healing for me.
I learned that a prayer is a time of listening rather than talking. Prayer became a time to pause from being busy and to hear from the deepest place within me. Each day I set aside time to listen intentionally. My prayer would start by telling myself that I was loved by God and that I was God’s child. And then I would listen. I discovered that when I was able to listen deeply, I was able to hear God’s wisdom as well.
J. Krishnamurti, a unique spiritual leader from the 20th Century, says that if we can listen with the depth of our whole being, with the totality of our being, that very listening is an act of being in communion with God. Krishnamurti teaches that, “When we can listen deeply, we are strengthened to feel that everything around us lives within us and everything within us lives as part of the world.”[iii]
Prayer is a dynamic act of listening to our deeper selves and listening to God’s voice within us. Prayer is a reality check. It is a process of discerning the realities we experience with and within the contexts of the community we are part of.
When asked by his one of his disciples to teach them to pray Jesus taught them that to pray is to honour and discern God’s will in the encounters with their neighbours. He told them to seek basic human sustenance – food for the body and a harmonious relationship with one’s neighbours and with God for one’s soul. Jesus taught his disciples that to pray for oneself is to pray for the well-being of one’s neighbours in God’s community.
How would you listen to your deepest self? What would you pray for?
Here is a Sufi story about a prayer.
Nasrudin was now an old man looking back on his life. He sat with his friends in the tea shop telling his story. “When I was young I was fiery – I wanted to awaken everyone. I prayed to Allah to give me the strength to change the world.
In mid-life I awoke one day and realized my life was half over and I had changed no one. So I prayed to Allah to give me the strength to change those close around me who so much needed it.
Alas, now I am old and my prayer is simpler. “Allah,” I ask, “Please give me the strength to at least change myself.”[iv]
John Mattheson, a friend of mine who works as a chaplain at a hospital in Montreal, sent me a prayer that sums up this story.
“God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change …
the courage to change the one I can …
and the wisdom to know it’s me.”
· What is your prayer in your life journey?
· How would you change yourself?
· What would you change within yourself?
· How would your prayer affect you in such a profound way that you end up transforming your surroundings?
This is what Henri Nouwen, a Catholic priest who worked with mentally challenged people in a L'Arche community called "Daybreak" near Toronto, says about change.
“We cannot change the world by a new plan, project, or idea. We cannot even change other people by our convictions, stories, advice, and proposals, but we can offer a space where people are encouraged to disarm themselves, lay aside their occupations and preoccupations and listen with attention and care to the voices speaking in their own center.”
I believe that each one of us is called to create and offer such a place of deep listening wherever and whenever we are engaged with our neighbours.
My two daughters stayed with me last month during my vacation. My daughter Michelle made countless remark about the way I misbehave when I drive. So I wrote a short prayer and put it on my front door at home so I would be reminded of it each time I leave. “May each moment be an opportunity to practice patience and humility.” This is my prayer each time I have an urge to honk and say foul words when someone cuts me off in traffic. This is my prayer whenever I have an urge to say something negative when I experience someone to be offensive. This is my way of struggling to change my own behaviour.
Will you join me in a prayer by Jan L. Richardson from her book In Wisdom’s Path: Discovering the Sacred in Every Season.
God of eye and ear,
of taste and touch,
of smell and of every sense
and source of knowing,
bless me not
with sight alone
but bless me also
with ears to hear
your voice
and tongue to taste
your essence
and nose to breathe
your fragrance
and fingertips to touch
your nearness
and heart to open
that door
which is wisdom,
which is wonder,
which is all.[v]
May each moment of our life be an opportunity to humbly practice patience and kindness. May we be able to experience God with all of our being in our prayers.
Amen.
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[i] Anthony De Mello, Taking Flight: A Book of Story Meditations, (New York: An Image Book, 1988), 31.
[ii] Bartlett’s words to live by: advice and inspiration for everyday life, (New York: Little, Brown and Co., 2006), 245.
[iii] J. Krishnamurti, To Be Human, (Boston: Shambhala, 2000), 3-4.
[iv] Christina Feldman & Jack Kornfield, eds, Stories of the Spirit, Stories of the Heart: Parables of the Spiritual Path from Around the World, (New York: HarperCollins, 1991), 212.
[v] Jan L. Richardson, Wisdom’s Path: Discovering the Sacred in Every Season, (Cleveland: The Pilgrim Press, 2000), 109.
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